


Wabi Sabi

by kenainot



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Coping Mechanisms, Drabble, Forgive Me, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mentions of Death, Misconceptions, Romance, Smut, What Have I Done, a little pg, author regrets a lot of things, but still posts it, stan treasure, sukhoon best bois, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenainot/pseuds/kenainot
Summary: You are, you are, you are,The flame that's runnin' my fever.The hit that made me so eager.Hope your heart is on a timer,'Cause when it's runnin',then it's runnin' me.
Relationships: Choi Hyunsuk/Park Jihoon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hai. This is unedited so forgive the typos and grammar lapses. I really need sleep but I wrote this instead. Please leave comments about how you feel about this fanfic. I sincerely love reading them. 🥺 You can scream at me in twitter too: kenainot. 🥺

Suffocating. That was the first thought that came to Hyunsuk’s mind when he woke up. He doesn’t like it when he’s enclosed in a small space, and right now, he’s pressed against a skin. His head feels like it’s spinning and he wants to stand and go to the bathroom because he’s feeling uneasy. He thinks throwing up would be good for him. He finally opens his eyes and he takes a deep breath as he realizes everything, where he is, who he’s with. 

He squints at the time and realizes that he’s supposed to be home three hours ago. He bit his lips and finally looked, and the first thing he sees are moles, and then he looks again and sees a tattoo of a phoenix. He bit his lip because he’s actually intimidated by the magical bird, wings covering a good part of the others back. He tries to breathe and stand but it’s hard when an arm is wrapped around his waist. It wasn’t tight but it’s enough to let anyone know that he’s possessive. Hyunsuk feels himself heating up because he knows he doesn’t have any clothes and he could feel the press of naked skin prickling against his. He carefully removed the arm around his and he’s really trying to concentrate on finding his clothes because the room was dark. There’s a night lamp at one side of the room and that helped him search for his clothes and he could also exit the room without bumping to any corner. He grabs his laptop and places it on his backpack, placing his notebooks and pens too. He stares at the sleeping man again, and he felt his heart jump when the stull nakedbboy moved and groaned in his sleep. He feels his phone vibrate and it’s his mom asking where he was. It’s almost midnight and he’s fucked, quite literally.

*

“I was worried. You didn’t text that you’ll be coming home late so I had to wait and make sure you’re okay. The project must’ve been really hard.” He hears his mother say as he threads to the common room, twenty-five minutes later. He’s trying so hard to hide the fact that he’s so nervous and he wants to take a shower. He felt so awful for smiling right now.

“Yes, it was.” He lies and grits his teeth. “We had to do overtime.”

“You should eat. There’s food on the table so just come down and hear it up when you’re feeling hungry.” She tells him.

He really could not eat with all the things running on his mind right now. “It’s okay. I’m full.”

“His mother made you a meal?” She asks and Hyunsuk had to stop climbing up the stairs to answer her.

“Ahuh.” He lies again. “I’ll just quickly take a shower and then I’ll sleep. I’m quite tired.”

His mom smiles and wishes him a good night. He bit his lower lip and tries not to feel guiltier when he hears his dad talk to a phone with one of his business partners. He locks his door and drops his things on his study table. He does not think of anything when he steps out of his school uniform and buries it in the middle of his laundry pile. He’s so grateful that he has his own bathroom. He hops on the shower and rubs his skin, trying to erase the memories attached to every touch and every little thing that he felt earlier. He waits until the shower turns cold, his eyes glazed and mouth a little open. He could not explain what happened earlier. It wasn’t supposed to happen.

It wasn’t something he would normally do. He never even thought about it.

His heart is still beating erratically as he towels himself dry and slips on his pajamas. He doesn’t even put on his night cream or moisturizer at all. He just opens his laptop and sends the project before shutting it off and laying on his bed. He closes his eyes and hugs his pillows, and it’s weird because it suddenly smells like tangerine and mint.

Hyunsuk couldn’t sleep well that night. Not when a notification told him that his project partner submitted his own part of the work too.

*

Hyunsuk has just arrived at the cafeteria after the student council meeting and he sees his friend Jaehyuk already sitting on their usual spot in the school cafeteria. Jaehyuk hands him banana milk as soon as he sits down and asks about his plans for the holidays.

“You’re not going anywhere this break?” Jaehyuk asks as he closes his phone and Hyunsuk knows that he probably finished replying to a friend from Japan. Jaehyuk has been his friend since middle school and they live about five blocks away from each other so they take the bus together. Well, Jaehyuk has a car now, and so he’s kind enough to drive him to and from school. Hyunsuk has to deal with his constant talking and he buys Jaehyuk food all the time, but they’re best friends and that’s just how it works.

“Yeah. My grandparents are flying to the states to see my uncle so we don’t really have a place to go, and my dad works on holidays too so we can’t really go with them even if we want too.”

“That’s kinda sad.” Jaehyuk frowns. “You’ll be spending your Christmas with just your mom?”

“Yeah, maybe.” He answers, “How about you? How long will you be gone?”

“Two weeks.” Jaehyuk smiles and he looks so giddy for someone who's travelling alone to Japan.

“Aren’t you a little too excited at the prospect of getting to a foreign place and meeting a stranger you talked online?” He questions.

“I’ll have you know that Asahi is a good person. I just know it.” Jaehyuk says, “And not everybody is as uptight as you, my friend.”

“What do you mean?” Hyunsuk asks, feeling a little defensive, making Jaehyuk chuckle.

“You plan every single thing in your life. Don’t even try to deny it. We’re in the final year of high school, but you’ve never done anything risky or promiscuous or anything rebellious at all. You’re a shiny poster kid, Hyunsuk.” Jaehyuk states, munching on his nuggets.

“Is that a bad thing?” Hyunsuk genuinely asks, trying to forget about what happened last night. Everything about last night was risky, promiscuous and rebellious. If only Jaehyuk knows.

“Of course not.” Jaehyuk answers immediately. “It’s just who you are. The entire school sees you as someone up there, you know.”

Hyunsuk wants to say something more. Maybe argue that he isn’t a poster child, but Jaehyuk’s already answering a facetime from Asahi. He eats his nuggets instead, trying to erase the thought of smelling tangerine and mint and being wrapped around strong sturdy arms.

*

Christmas break started with her mom letting him sleep in, and only waking him up when it’s time to assemble the Christmas tree. It was a little lonelier because there’s just two of them when it’s usually done with his grandparents and his cousins from the states.

It gets a little better because his mom gave him the keys to the car and asked him to drive and buy stuff for the house. They never really let him do that because they’re afraid Hyunsuk would get into an accident. His parents have always been a little too protective, but he’s learned to live with it. It gets overbearing but he just reminds himself that they just want what’s best for him.

He doesn’t feel his best either. His body was tired and his muscles were strained. He knows why but he’s choosing to ignore it. Hyunsuk searched it up, and it was normal for him to feel a little sick because he wasn’t used to the, uh, activity that he had experienced three days ago.

Mashiho calls him for a movie and he says yes. He falls asleep in the middle of the movie and Mashiho has to wake him up and tell him that the movie’s over.

“Are you okay? You look really tired.” Mashiho asks and Hyunsuk just nods.

He feels fine. It’s just sore muscles and stress and anxiety all rolled into one for him.

*

The break passed like a lull and all Hyunsuk could remember was dressing up for Christmas eve and taking a few photos to send to his grandparents. His dad came in at eleven, just in time for dinner, and they saved an empty seat for Hyunsuk’s older brother. He wasn’t with them anymore.

Her mother gets teary eyed as they pray, and Hyunsuk hugs her tight until she smiles and tells them to start eating.

It was a good Christmas dinner and his dad offered him a drink to which he declined because he knows his mother won’t like it. They saw her enter his brother’s old room, and they knew she would be spending the entire day there. She’ll probably open a photo album full of his brother’s picture too. 

They lost him six years ago. His dad told them Hyuntae has always been the defying type. He got into some serious trouble with substance abuse, and his parents tried their best to put him in rehab and get him back on his feet. He vaguely remembers the details but his brother was always angry and his mom would always say how he was such a disappointment. His dad would always stop their fight and Hyuntae would walk out, disappearing for weeks or months before showing up wasted and high again.

He knows his dad didn’t give up on him because he gave his brother a job at a factory and he thought everything was going well. Hyuntae even joined them to celebrate Christmas. Of course, it wasn’t. He just had to get drunk and argue with one of their uncles. He grabs the keys and flipped everyone out before driving away. Hyunsuk remembers his mother shouting at him to get his life together or never come back.

It was the day after that when they received a call from the police that Hyuntae crashed into a tree. The report said he has overdosed too. His mother blamed herself, and maybe that’s where the obsession stemmed from making Hyunsuk a perfect son.

“You sure you won’t take a sip?” His dad smiled at him.

“Maybe next year.” He answers and his father pats the top of his head.

See, poster child.

*

It was a day before school started again when Hyunsuk heard his parents talk about something that made him stop his tracks. It was almost eleven pm and he’s supposed to go down to get some snacks. His mom and dad were in the living room. He’s about to say hello to them when he hears her mother speak.

“Yeah, you know the news is getting around right now. I really thought Mrs. Han has it all. Her daughter was set to go to a good school.”

“I don’t see the problem. Sure, they caught her having sex but she’s 18.” His dad interjects.

“The problem is that she was in a relationship with someone involved in a gang. Have you seen the tattoos of that man? He’s bad news. What if she gets pregnant? She should’ve never involved herself with someone like him.” She answers him.

“Well, she isn’t our child.” He dad comments.

“At least we have. Hyunsuk. I couldn’t ask for anything more. He’s such a good son. He’s never let me down.” Her mother says and Hyunsuk stops a sigh.

He goes back to his room, snacks forgotten. He bit his lower lip, trying to hide the guilt that’s spilling over his heart and mind right now. He closes his eyes and he wonders if he would ever forget those memories. They would probably see each other once school starts again, but he’s determined to avoid that situation.

There’s a message from Jaehyuk and it was full of emojis. Hyunsuk only read Happy New year and closed his phone again. He chooses to ignore another notification from Jihoon. He can’t.

Not yet.

*

Hyunsuk has a headache after the student council meeting. They’re trying to finalize everything for the senior ball, but some of the members just had to throw ridiculous ideas. He can’t believe someone wanted to get a statue in the middle of the dance floor. They don’t even have the budget for that. He looks at Yoshi, the president and Hyunsuk thinks he wants to scream but is doing a good job at controlling it. The meeting eventually ended and Yoshi asks him to submit the final budget proposal in three days.

It’s just the first day of school after the holiday but he’s already looking forward to the weekend.

Lunch was with Jaehyuk and he gave Hyunsuk a keychain, a ref magnet, and a random shirt he bought for Hyunsuk. He tells him about his vacation and Hyunsuk listens to it, responding when he needs to. Jaehyuk looks and sounds excited as he tells him about his experience in going to Kyoto, and sneaking out to drink sake. He doesn’t talk about the experience since he knows Hyunsuk doesn’t like talking about anything alcohol, or any substance at all. Hyunsuk promises not to touch them.

Jaehyuk says goodbye to him because they have different classes. It’s an elective for their senior year and Jaehyuk chose dance while Hyunsuk chose music theory. He needed to grab his book so he headed to his locker. They had nothing to submit for this class so he just left the book there. He’s quietly reaching for his book when he feels a light tap on his shoulder, and he feels like he’s suddenly short of breaths because it smells like tangerine and mint.

“Hey,” Jihoon says, looking a little nervous, and standing close to him. Hyunsuk pursed his lips and got his book before actually facing him. He wants to ask him why he’s suddenly in front of him when they haven’t spoken for weeks now. They’re done with their project and they shouldn’t talk anymore.

“Can we talk?” Jihoon asks, almost like a whisper. He leans too close for comfort.

“I have class.” Hyunsuk mutters, trying to step to the right to escape Jihoon but the other was a bit faster, blocking him from going anywhere.

“I think we really need to talk.” Jihoon says again. He looks more determined.

“What are we going to talk about? We have nothing to say to say to each other.” Hyunsuk answers, moving in the opposite direction. Jihoon follows him and blocks his way again. He feels very frustrated now.

“Please, Hyunsuk. Don’t do this.” Jihoon says as he moves to touch Hyunsuk’s shoulder. There was a flinch from Hyunsuk and Jihoon removed his hand, looking hurt at the reaction.

“Mr. Park and Mr. Choi.” Someone cuts through their conversation. “You’re still on the hallway, classes have already started.” It’s Mr. Hong, the vice principal. Hyunsuk looked around and realized that they were the only ones there. He didn’t even hear the bell.

“I’m sorry.” Jihoon says as he steps away from Hyunsuk.

Mr. Hong writes on his pad then speaks, “Detention for you both.” He finishes and hands them the paper.

Hyunsuk opens his mouth in disbelief. He’s never been given one before. He’s always on time for school and he has never submitted any work after the deadline. He wants to throw up.

“See you after the last period. It’s in room 12A. We welcome new faces.” Mr. Hong says and Hyunsuk just can’t believe he’s really getting detention.

“Mr. Hong, I can’t today. I have to go somewhere.” Jihoon says and it seems kike Mr. Hong knows about it because he nods at Jihoon.

“Right. You’re excused then.” He gets the note he handed to Jihoon and folds it, putting it in his pocket. “See you later, Mr. Choi.”

The two of them are left alone again and Hyunsuk wants to cry.

“Hyunsuk,” Jihoon starts but Hyunsuk is already glaring at him.

“Go away.” He mutters as he finally walks away from Jihoon.

*

“You know I have to reread your text over and over again before actually believing it. I really thought someone was playing a prank.” Jaehyuk says as Hyunsuk enters the car and puts on his seatbelt.

“Thank you for waiting.” Hyunsuk sighs and watches the school parking lot as Jaehyuk starts to drive.

“It’s fine. I want to know what happened though. Someone told me it’s because of Park Jihoon. Was he bugging you?”

Hyunsuk bit his lower lip before he answered. “Yeah, ahuh.” He closes his eyes and sighs for the nth time that day. He just really want s to crawl to his bed and sleep for a long time. He’s ready to graduate.

“Did he show up?” Jaehyuk asks.

“He didn’t even get a detention note. Mr. Hong just told him he’s excused.” He answers, eyes already open and looking at the road.

“Oh? I’ve heard so many rumors about him. So many people say that his dad is a leader of a mafia or something. That explains why he never gets in trouble no matter what he does. I share a class with him, and he’s always late and when he shows up, he just sleeps. Mashiho told me once that he saw a glimpse of his tattoo on his back. He sounds like trouble for me. Someone you shouldn't associate with.”

“Can we not talk about it?” Hyunsuk whispers.

“Sure.” Jaehyuk answers and moves along with other topics. He says he’s raising a plant, Asahi gave him when he left Japan. Hyunsuk actually listens this time.

His mom asked him why he was home later than usual and Hyunsuk lied that Jaehyuk needed to stay for a club meeting. His mother smiles and he tells her he’s going to nap for a bit. He feels like he has been lying all the time these days. 

*

“Please stop avoiding me.” Jihoon says when he finally catches Hyunsuk in the parking lot.

Yes, he's been avoiding Jihoon the whole day, making sure they don’t walk the same hallways, going as far as clinging to Yoshi even though he talks about the problems of planning the senior ball the entire time. 

“Jaehyuk’s waiting for me.” He mutters, still trying to find a way to escape the situation.

“Tell him I’m driving you home.” Jihoon says firmly. “Please.”

Hyunsuk chews his lips and thinks about what to do. He can’t really spend the last few months of high school avoiding Jihoon. It’s just not possible.

“Hyunsuk.” Jihoon leans in and Hyunsuk is suddenly reminded of that night. The taller still smells the same and it’s unfair because he feels himself getting pulled by some kind of gravity.

“Why do we need to talk?” He asks, trying his best not to crack and breakdown in the middle of the parking lot.

Jihoon is someone that he needs to avoid. He’s bad news and Hyunsuk wants to cry because he looks at Hyunsuk like he’s hurt by his words.

“We need to talk about what happened.” Jihoon says softly and it’s out of place because he’s dressed in black shirt and distressed jeans. His hair was faded brown, and there’s something dangerous about him that Hyunsuk feels like it’s unfair how he sounded so gentle just right now.

“No, we don’t. We had—“ Hyunsuk takes a breath before continuing. “We had sex and that’s it. Just forget about it.” He mutters and he looks away because he’s suffocating again.

“I don’t want to forget about it.” Jihoon says. Hyunsuk turned and their eyes met and he was melting with the intensity of Jihoon’s gaze.

“What—“

“Junkyu saw you leaving the apartment. He lives in the same building and he saw you coming out of our house.” Jihoon supplies and Hyunsuk suddenly feels dizzy because no one was supposed to find out. He can’t have anyone know about it. It’ll ruin him. What if it reaches his mother?

“Hey,” Jihoon whispers, hands reaching out and squeezing his shoulders gently. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

Hyunsuk begins to cry because he thinks about the worse and he could not handle going through it. He thinks he’s overreacting but he can’t help the way he feels. The thought was suffocating. Don’t even get him started with how his mother would react to all of this.

He feels himself being pulled into a hug and Jihoon was rubbing comforting circles on his back. “I told him to not say a word about it.”

Hyunsuk sobs into Jihoon’s shoulders and lets himself be comforted for a while. He’s not ready to talk about it yet.

“Can I go home now?” He asks Jihoon.

He hears a sigh from the other as the hug loosened. “Okay, but I’ll talk to you this weekend.”

Hyunsuk watches as Jihoon walks away from him. He still feels like shit but he’s also a little bit better. It’s strange.

*

“Did you hear about it?” It was the first thing that Hyunsuk hears when he enters the classroom the next day.

“So you mean it’s true?” One of the students whispers as well. “I just heard about it earlier, but who is it?”

“I don’t know, but I think the entire school knows by now. It’s probably that one girl in class C, she keeps on saying she would have Jihoon on his bed before we graduate.”

“Well, I won’t be surprised.” The student makes a face. Hyunsuk feels like he’s ready to throw up now.

He hears about it the entire day, and he has heard so many versions of it. It was even talked about during the weekly student council meeting.

“It’s crazy right now. The whole school keeps on guessing who it is.” Jaehyuk says during lunchtime. “I mean there’s so many variations of the story that I don’t even know what is correct anymore.”

“Why is it such a big deal?” Hyunsuk mutters as he keeps his head down.

“Duh. This is a small town with an even smaller school so news like this is going to get big. Plus it involves Jihoon. You know, that one kid who keeps to himself and rumored to run a mafia.”

“I thought his dad ran the mafia.” He can’t help but comment. All these rumors sounded so ridiculous all of a sudden.

“Well, whatever.” Jaehyuk states, “The thing is so many people have been trying to get his attention for the past years but he doesn’t even look.”

Hyunsuk pretends that he’s enjoying every chew of his lunch. “I don’t care”

The entire school day was nothing but people talking about the damn rumors and the stories getting wilder everytime. It gets crazier the next day, and the narratives he hears were just plain ridiculous by Friday.

It makes him sick in the stomach because some versions are just full lies. He hears someone say that Jihoon forced the other to have sex with him leaving bruises and all of that. It wasn’t true because Jihoon was gentle and—

He stops his thoughts and tries to go through each day like the rumors didn’t matter. It’ll go away soon.

Hyunsuk thought he could get away with all these talks once he gets home but of course, his mom hears about it by Thursday too. Why is everyone in this town interested about Jihoon and his sex life?

“I just heard a crazy rumor from your school.” His mother starts and Hyunsuk is ready to walk away but he just can’t when they’re already at the dining table.

“What did you hear?” He asks just for the sake of it. He chews on his food as he waits for his mother to answer.

“One of my coworkers told me that someone in your school was involved with the son of a leader of a gang. She even said that the Park kid abused the other one and both students were involved in illegal drug trading.”

“That’s not true.” Hyunsuk raises his voice and his parents look surprised. He has never raised his voice before. 

“I mean. It’s probably not true.” He says a little calmer this time. “It’s all rumors.”

“Well, it really says something about teenagers these days. They should worry about submitting their school work on time and not get involved in dangerous things.” His mom shakes her head.

He doesn’t have an appetite all of a sudden.

“The parents have to be really careful too. They shouldn’t really let their kid’s girlfriend or boyfriend come over without their supervision. So every time Hyunsuk brings in a visitor, the door must be open.”

“Mom.”

“Honey,” His dad says at the same time. “Hyunsuk is an adult this year. Let him live his life. He could do what he wants as long as he’s careful.” There was a little teasing in his dad’s voice.

She glared at his husband. “I want him to consider dating seriously. He could date when he’s 20 or even older than that because he has to consider marriage before doing anything else.”

“He’s going to college. You can’t stop him.” His dad argues.

“Well, he’s my son, and Hyunsukkie is a good boy.”

“Can I go now?” Hyunsuk interrupts. His parents looked surprised for the second time tonight. His father was the first to recover and told him it’s okay. He never left the room that night.

*

“Hyunsuk.”

He’s cornered by Jihoon when Friday hits. The others hands automatically rubbing Hyunsuk’s shoulders to give him comfort. The school hallways are empty because it’s almost six pm and Hyunsuk needed to stay a little later in school with a few members of the student council to receive the props delivered today. They all went home, and now he’s with Jihoon.

“Tell me how you’re feeling.” He asks and Hyunsuk hates how Jihoon looks so sincere. He’s supposed to not care about him at all.

“I’m okay.” He grumbles. He just hopes that people would let the issue go already. They just can’t seem to let it go and the versions of it keeps on making him feel annoyed. 

“Junkyu,” Jihoon starts, “Before I told him to shut up, he messaged his club gc, asking if they knew someone else from the school who lives in the same building. He says he didn’t mean to mess up,but I told him to never say a word about it anymore.”

“Okay.” Hyunsuk sighs, a little relieved from what he heard. Jihoon moves closer and he should probably avoid his touch but he’s so tired. He lets Jihoon pull him close for an embrace.

“I’ll drive you home.” Jihoon says after a little while and Hyunsuk nods because he has no strength to argue anymore.

He arrives home and the first thing he does is turn his phone off. He didn’t want to hear anything from anyone for just two days.

*

He arrives at school feeling weird because it seems like everybody’s staring at him. He ignores it and makes his way to his locker only to be welcomed by a confused and concerned Jaehyuk.

“Hyunsuk, are you okay? Is it true?” Jaehyuk asks, barely a whisper, and Hyunsuk creases his brows because he’s confused.

“What’s this about?” He asks back after getting his books and closing his locker.

“Are you the one in the rumor with Jihoon?”

It was automatic. He feels himself getting pale and nauseous. He dropped the books that he’s holding.

“What?”

“Daemi said that she saw you speaking with Park Jihoon on Friday. Everyone is saying it’s you.” Jaehyuk whispers and Hyunsuk felt frantic all of a sudden.

He tried to look around only to look down again once he realized that everyone was staring at him. Everyone knows now. Every single one of them is going to talk about what he did now.

He doesn’t even say anything and just brushes past Jaehyuk to find the nearest restroom he could hide. He doesn’t even know what to do once he gets there. He locked himself inside a cubicle and forced himself to take deep breaths. He should burst into tears, not right now. He hears the bell ring and Hyunsuk knows he has to get out and attend his class. He feels awful but there’s no point in staying inside an empty restroom. He splashes his face with water before walking to his classroom. Everyone was busy talking so they hardly ever notice Hyunsuk slipping in and taking a seat. It’s a good thing the teacher comes in at the same time and the lesson starts right away. 

It gets worse by the hour though.

“So you mean Hyunsuk runs a drug ring with Jihoon too.”

“I heard Jihoon’s just his boy toy. He has another man in the next town too.”

“You never really know. It’s usually the quiet ones.”

“It’s such a shame. I thought he’s a good kid. He associates himself with trouble so nah.”

He couldn’t even ignore the voices inside their classroom so he just closes his eyes and buries his head into his arms. It seems like he’s in an endless loop of a nightmare and he wants nothing but to wake up and get out of it. He wanted to leave school but he couldn’t. It was so cold outside and he doesn’t even have a car. He’s too scared to even call Jaehyuk. He’s too scared to do anything. He is so close to breaking down already.

It was thirty minutes when the fourth period started when someone knocked on their classroom door. It’s Mr. Hong, the vice principal, and everyone just automatically stares at Hyunsuk.

“I’d like to talk with Mr. Choi in my office.” His tone was polite but Hyunsuk wanted the ground to swallow him up. He quietly stands and collects his things. The teacher gave him a reassuring smile but it didn’t ease him at all.

The walk to the office was quiet and Hyunsuk sits down on one the long sofa while Mr. Hong sat on the single sofa on the right. The school’s guidance counsellor was in front of him. 

“Hyunsuk-ah.” Mr. Hong started his words carefully. “We’ve heard a lot of things and we called you here because we want to make sure you’re okay. It could be a lot for you right now.”

Hyunsuk doesn’t answer because he feels like he did something so unlawful because of all the words that he’s heard in the last few days. None of it was true but he feels like he’s the one who did something wrong.

“We just want to know.” The guidance counsellor says but he’s still not saying anything.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Mr. Hong says, “We just needed to pull you out of there because kids can be harsh and we don’t want you to think of bad thoughts.”

Hyunsuk tries to blink the tears away because it was true, he didn’t do anything wrong. Sure, they had sex but he didn’t do anything wrong. So he feels so awful because everyone else looks at him like a specimen they needed to judge.

“It’s okay. We’ll help you. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

He feels stupod for crying but everyone has been so harsh these past few days, and he felt like his entire being is judged just because of stupid made up rumors.

There was a light knock and one of the school staff came in. “A Park Jihoon wants to be included. He says he won’t leave until we’ll let him in.”

There was a nod from Mr. Hong and Hyunsuk wipe his tears and wills himself to stop crying. Jihoon comes in and sits next to him.

“We will write a note to have you excused for the rest of the day.” Mr. Hong says as he opens his pad. “Do you want us to bring you home?”

Home.

Hyunsuk doesn’t even want to think about it.

“I’ll take him.” Jihoon offered and nobody disagreed. So they leave just before lunch starts. No one was outside the hallway so it was an easy way out. Hyunsuk blocks Daemi’s number and he ignores Jaehyuk and Mashiho’s message. He didn’t even answer Yoshi’s text about the school budget. Jihoon drives them back to his apartment.

*

Hyunsuk knows the place. He’s been here before. He could already smell the mint brought by the air humidifier, and the coffee table still has the same set of magazines from the last time he saw it. Jihoon sits on the sofa and he doesn't even think twice when he sits next to him. He feels his shoulders loosen up for the first time that day.

“Are you hungry?” Jihoon asks. His hands were already reaching for Hyunsuk’s fingers, intertwining them.

“No.” Hyunsuk watches their hands and it’s comforting.

“What do you want to do now?”

Hyunsuk thinks for a few seconds before answering. “I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

“Okay.” Jihoon responds and he stands up pulling Hyunsuk with him.

His sleep lasted for five hours and Hyunsuk woke up with Jihoon’s arms around him, just like the last time. Right now, he didn’t feel like he’s suffocating though, so that’s different. He thinks Jihoon is still asleep so he snuggles closer and melts into the warmth that the other is providing. It’s amazing how Jihoon still smells like tangerine and mint. He feels Jihoon’s hand pulls him closer.

“I think my mom’s going to kill me once I get home.” He whispers.

“I’ll be with you.” Jihoon says, voice determined. “Is your dad going to punch me?”

Hyunsuk chuckles and buries his face on Jihoon’s chest. “Maybe.”

“Okay. I’ll take it.”

Hyunsuk wants to fall asleep again but he needs to go home.

“How about you? Where’s your parents?” It’s weird because they met multiple times for the project but Hyunsuk has never seen Jihoon’s mom or dad in the apartment. The fridge has food though, and the house looked clean and well maintained so Jihoon’s probably not alone here.

“My mom’s at work.” Jihoon and answers but didn’t explain further. They cuddle for ten more minutes until it’s time for them to get up and bring Hyunsuk home.

*

There wasn’t any good way to break the news. Hyunsuk is not even sure why they have to make it seem like it was an announcement he has to make. Like ‘Mom, dad, I had sex at 18. People think Jihoon’s a part of the mafia but I think he isn’t.’ It’s all so blown out of proportion and Hyunsuk wants to skip everything else.

He tells Jihoon that he’s going to talk first but the moment they step inside the house, his mother was already shouting.

“Choi Hyunsuk, what is happening?” Her voice was piercing through their ears. She was clearly waiting for him to come home. “I called you so many times but you didn’t answer. Do you have any idea how I feel right now? So many people have called me and told me ridiculous things. They’re telling me you’re going out with a delinquent and a gangster which is impossi—“ She stops talking when he sees Jihoon just behind Hyunsuk, looking a little too guilty to just be a friend. They hear her screech.

“Get out of my house!” She screams, eyes completely losing the worry she had earlier. It was like his mother turned into another person and Hyunsuk could noy believe what he just heard.

“Mom, what are you saying?” He asks, tears forming in his eyes.

She screams again and Hyunsuk feels his heart drop at her constant. “Get out! Get out! Get out of my sight!”

He sees his dad coming down from the bedroom but Jihoon was already pulling him away. He sobs back into the car and Jihoon drives quietly until he finds an empty lot, away from Hyunsuk’s village. He pulls over and holds him close. Hyunsuk felt so wronged but it hits differently when it’s your mother who suddenly abandons you because of an unfounded rumor. He sobs into Jihoon’s shoulder and he’s choked up because of his mother’s words.

Hyunsuk expected the screaming. He expected his mother to shout at him, scold him, but in his mind his mother would let them in and he could explain the entire truth. He didn’t expect to be told to get out. He didn’t know how long he was crying, but Jihoon only starts driving again once he’s a little calmer and he wasn't choking on his own tears anymore. He didn't know he navigated through everything but he knew Jihoon handed him a shirt and pajamas to change to, and he crawls to the bed without even speaking. Jihoon let’s him hog the covers too.

The next time he wakes up, he’s feeling parched. Jihoon was fast asleep next to him, and Hyunsuk took a minute to stare at the mole under his eye, and then another one just below his lips. He thinks it’s ridiculous how the school completely made up this entire narrative of Jihoon being a bad guy when he’s always sincere and true to Hyunsuk. Jihoon turns around and Hyunsuk sees a portion of his tattoo.

Right.

He has a tattoo. People are so judgemental.

He decides to leave the bed and walk to the kitchen to quench his thirst. He felt himself jump when he saw a woman sitting on the kitchen island drinking a cup of milk. She looks like an older version of Jihoon.

“Did I scare you, honey?” She sincerely asks and Hyunsuk shakes his head as an answer.

“You want water?” She asked again and he was quick to nod. He watches her stand and fetch him a cold glass of water. Hyunsuk sits on one of the chairs in the dining table.

She hands him the water and sits right next to him. “Are you feeling okay?”

Hyunsuk drinks the water and nods, not really knowing what to say.

“Junkyu was outside earlier and he feels sorry about everything. I asked him about it and he told me everything he knows. Jihoon was still awake when I came home so he told me what happened in your house too.” She explains to him, and she sounds so gentle and sweet, and Hyunsuk is reminded of what transpired between him and his mother.

“Hey, you’re probably scared right now, but it’s okay. We’re here.” She touches Hyunsuk’s arm and gives him a smile before continuing. “I don’t agree with how your mom handled everything but she’ll come around, and you have a home here, until she apologizes for what happened.”

“Maybe, it’s my fault.” Hyunsuk whispers.

“No, sweetheart. It isn’t your fault.” She says quickly and Hyunsuk’s tears start welling up again. “I’ll sleep now, but feel free to eat if you’re hungry and use whatever you wish inside this house.”

Hyunsuk says thank you and she ruffles his hair. He finishes his water, and washes it before putting it back on the rack. He goes back to Jihoon’s room and slots himself back in Jihoon’s arms. He falls asleep again.

*

He wakes up with Jihoon poking him the next day. He checks the time and sees that it was already 11 AM.

“School?” Hyunsuk asks groggily.

Jihoon swoops him in for a hug and says his mother called and asked for the both of them to be excused. Hyunsuk nods and the two of them eat breakfast together. Jihoon lets Hyunsuk wear his clothes again, and it’s baggy but it’s better than nothing.

They lounged on the sofa and watched whatever’s shown on the TV. Hyunsuk wasn’t paying much attention because Jihoon’s telling him about his life. He finds out that Jihoon misses school because he volunteers at an orphanage in the next town, and he sometimes works for his uncle who’s doing textile work. He also told Hyunsuk that he does not get detention because Mr. Hong lets him teach dance to little kids every Tuesdays and Thursdays. He’s also a little surprised when Jihoon tells him he’s in the top twenty of the school’s ranking.

“My mother raised me alone so I do my best to help him. When I was little she used to drop me off the orphanage and I studied there with the other kids. She would pick me up after her school and work ends so we’re always thankful to the people there.”

Hyunsuk tears up as he hears Jihoon’s words. Admiring how strong his mother is for raising a kid alone.

“I don’t my dad but it doesn’t matter anymore. My mother really made everything work for us. He still tales double shifts at the institute but I feel like she does it because she genuinely enjoys it.”

Jihoon chuckles as he wipes the stray tear on Hyunsuk’s cheek. “Why are you crying?”

“Don’t you hate it? How the people perceive you wrongly. They call you names and say you’re a delinquent. I’m angry for you.” He voices out.

“They don’t matter to me. What matters to me is my mom, and now, you.” Jihoon answers, sounding so sincere that Hyunsuk could not help but smile.

“Kiss me.”

There’s a gentle press against Hyunsuk’s lips and he feels elated, butterflies in his belly. The kiss was soft and sweet and Jihoon let’s Hyunsuk decide the pace so he cups the taller’s jaw and pulls him in for more.

They finally pulled away and Hyunsuk was suddenly embarrassed although he initiated it. They both laugh and Hyunsuk sighs because he’s relaxed for the first time in a while.

The conversation shifted to their dreams and Hyunsuk tells Jihoon that his college application is ready and he’s going to take the entrance exam in two months. He’s taking pre-law and he tells Jihoon about his plans to be a civil rights lawyer.

Jihoon says he’s going to take business because his uncle was leaning into him, and he’s going to manage the textile business after he graduates. Jihoon also notes that their school choices are so near to each other.

“Why do you have a tattoo though?” Hyunsuk asks after awhile.

“I asked my mom to sign a consent waiver when I got it at seventeen. She chose the tattoo artist too. She told me that if I wanted one, then she’s going to make sure it’s safe.” Jihoon starts. “It’s a reminder.”

“A phoenix?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon continues, “My mom’s favorite mythological character. It was just like her, rising from the ashes no matter how hard life was for her.”

“That’s beautiful.”

“People say it’s my gang’s logo though.” Jihoon laughs at his own joke and Hyunsuk thinks people suck.

*

It’s a given that Hyunsuk wasn’t excited to attend school because everyone’s attention would still be centered on them. It wasn’t as bad as he was expecting because they walk together, and their hands are actually intertwined for everyone to see. Everyone was quiet because Jihoon looked so intimidating and the school sees him as that senior who doesn’t go to school, has ten tattoos at most, and runs a mafia as a hobby. Hyunsuk wants to laugh because those are all untrue, but he keeps his laughter in for the sake of playing the part. It hasn’t even a day, and he realizes that these people really don’t matter at all.

Jihoon says his goodbye when they reach Hyunsuk’s locker with a promise that they’ll see each other after classes end. He sighs and ignores the rest or the hush whispers around him. He does feel some shuffling behind him so he turns around and sees Jaehyuk and Mashiho. He suddenly feels small because he doesn’t know his friends would react. He was always so careful around them, and his mind just automatically thinks of the worse. Because while the other people around him don’t matter anymore, the two of them are part of those who matter the most for him.

“Hello.” Jaehyuk greets him with a nervous smile.

“Hi.” He greats back, just as dangerous.

“You crazy asshole.” Mashiho stomps his feet and throws his arms around Hyunsuk, hugging him so tightly. “Why didn't you say anything? I would’ve punched every single one who made up those lies.” Hyunsuk chuckles and hugs Mashiho just as tight.

“I swear,” Mashiho says as he glares at the people around them. “Whoever tries to say anything remotely upsetting to you would go through me. I have a black belt in Taekwondo and my mother’s a lawyer.”

Hyunsuk laughs at this and pats Mashiho’s head before releasing himself from the hug. “I’m okay, Mashi. You don’t need to punch anyone for me.”

“Please don’t hate me.” Jaehyuk says and looks like he was going to cry.

“Why would I hate you?” He asks, giving Jaehyuk a hug.

“Because I said mean things.” Jaehyuk answers and Hyunsuk pats him on the back.

“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

He means it, and Jaehyuk actually cries in the middle of the hallway.

*

“So like you did it. With him?” Mashiho whispers after Hyunsuk tells them a shortcut version of the things that happened to his life. It was lunch time and Jihoon texted him that he needed to go to his uncle’s office for business.

“Yeah,” Hyunsuk answers, not wanting to elaborate.

“So you’re dating?” Jaehyuk asks, voice soft too.

He actually pauses at the question. It’s a valid question, and they haven’t actually discussed it. He can’t blame anyone for that. The past few days were mentally exhausting for them. So maybe later, or the day after tomorrow, they’ll get to it.

The thing is they met as partners for a project. It was Hyunsuk who went over to Jihoon’s apartment to work on the reports and if he’s completely honest, he was scared and intimidated because of all the things he’s heard about Jihoon. They say that he skips school to beat up other people, and he has a phoenix tattoo because he’s involved with the mafia. Hyunsuk was already stressed because he thought Jihoon would be lazy and he would let him do all the job so it came as a surprise when Jihoon offered to work on it together. He even brought snacks and drinks during the making of their project, and he gave Hyunsuk his umbrella when it was raining outside. He also sends helpful sources and gives Hyunsuk input on how they could complete everything effectively.

It’s crazy because he sees Jihoon at school and he rarely smiles, but he has the most adorable laugh every time he shares cute cat videos to Hyunsuk. He can’t remember how it began anymore, but in between leftover pizzas and Jihoon’s eye smiles, he realized he likes him. Hyunsuk knows he has a crush on him, and it was so cliche because he knew he likes Jihoon because he treats him well, and listens to what he has to say. It’s a big thing for someone like him who has always kept quiet even if he has a lot to say. And he knows he’s correct when he says that Jihoon likes it when Hyunsuk listens too, without any prejudice and judgment. He tells Hyunsuk one time that it gets hard when people already assume who he is. He got tired of correcting them, and so he settles with not speaking to anyone instead. He pouts as he says this to Hyunsuk. Hyunsuk is also attracted to his kicked puppy look which would always make him soft and it makes him want to give Jihoon everything good in the world. 

There wasn’t a defining moment but Hyunsuk still remembers everything about it. He remembers eating fruit slices on Jihoon’s kitchen island as he talks about how everyone is stressed with the upcoming senior ball.

“I’m not lying. Jeongwoo really chased Haruto for thirty minutes because he broke the design board he was about to present to us.” Hyunsuk says, “But to be honest, it was an awful design so maybe Haruto did us a favor.” He was about tk say more when Jihoon popped a watermelon on his mouth. It was a good thing Hyunsuk didn’t choke.

“What are you doing?” He asks with a smile on his face.

“I’ve been eating alone for a few minutes now. I have to feed you.”

Hyunsuk laughed at this and peeked at the bowl of assorted fruits. It was full a little while ago, but he could see the bottom now.

“Peanut butter.” Jihoon states as he hops off the kitchen island and makes his way to the fridge. “We have peanut butter. It’s the perfect dip!”

He gets the peanut butter and spoon before returning to where Hyunsuk is, still sitting on the kitchen island. Jihoon opts to stand this time as he stars spreading peanut butter to the fruit slices.

“What is that?” Hyunsuk stares at what Jihoon is doing and he thinks it looks disgusting.

“You have to try it.” Jihoon says as he grabs a slice of Mango and feeds it to Hyunsuk. It was messy because he smothered it in so much peanut butter. Hyunsuk laughs as the sweetness of the two hit his tongue. He releases a satisfied grunt because yeah, it looks awful but it’s actually so good. He could feel some of the peanut butter sticking outside his lips and he chuckles at how messy they were being. He looked up, and was surprised to see how intense Jihoon was looking at him.

“Is there any problem?” Hyunsuk asks, staring at the bowl trying to see if it spilled or something.

“You have,” Jihoon starts, stepping closer, hands trying to point out the mess on the side of his lips.

“Yeah,” He answers, raising his hand to wipe it.

“No.” Jihoon whispers, making him halt his movement. And it just dawned to him that Jihoon was so close, and they’re almost exchanging their breaths.

“Let me.” It was said in a whisper, low and dark. He cupped Hyunsuk’s jaw and pressed their lips softly.

It was gentle, and fleeting like first meetings and warm hellos. It felt so innocent and sweet. The second time Jihoon dived in for another kiss was loud and sensual. Jihoon licks and nips and he makes sure that all the peanut butter is gone. Hyunsuk opened his mouth and it was sinfully filthy because Jihoon tasted like apples and sugar, and he didn't know when he could find time to breathe. The kiss they shared was getting deeper and it made Hyunsuk’s knees go weak and his toes curl, because Jihoon is a good kisser and he wasn’t backing down too. Jihoon held his waist and he curled his hands on the back of the other’s neck. They were so intoxicated and high with each other's warmth and touch. If it wasn’t for breathing, they wouldn’t pull away.

“More?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

It was a few hours after when he woke up feeling suffocated, and he ran.

“We haven’t talked about it.” He answers Jaehyuk after a while.

“You clearly like him though.” Mashiho comments. “You slept with him. You’re a romantic m, Hyunsuk. You won’t just give it unless you like him.”

Hyunsuk snorts but doesn’t deny it.

“So does he really have twenty tattoos?” It was a question from Jaehyuk.

“One, just one.”

“Well, does he run a mafia?” It was Mashiho this time. Hyunsuk laughs at that and says it was a ridiculous assumption.

“Well, we needed to verify things.” Jaehyuk says. “Do you need a ride home? I could take you.”

Hyunsuk’s mood turns somber all of a sudden. “My mother told me to get out of the house yesterday. I’m staying with Jihoon.”

“What?” Jaehyuk mutters, “Why? You didn’t even do anything wrong. All of these just blew out of proportions because of ridiculous assumptions and rumors.”

Hyunsuk doesn’t answer that.

“I could lend you my clothes.” Mashiho offers and he nods, grateful to have them as friends.

*

Jihoon’s mother just left the apartment for work just before dinner. Jihoon is busy heating up the soup they would share when he brings it up.

“Are you my boyfriend?”

Jihoon stops stirring and actually turns off the stove. He faces Hyunsuk with a small smile on his face.

“Well, I want to be your boyfriend. Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Hyunsuk chuckles and nods. He stands up to hug Jihoon and he receives a hug back. He kisses Jihoon’s jaw and he receives a kiss on the forehead. They stay like that for a few minutes and maybe, he’s starting to like this a little too much. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just a good feeling, and he wants to beat himself up for running away first.

“Don’t you want to go home?” Jihoon asks, and Hyunsuk thinks for a second before answering.

“I want to but I’m scared of how mom would react again. I felt like I was my brother the last time.”

“Brother?” Jihoon questions.

“I had a brother. He’s not with us anymore.” Hyunsuk leans in for a hug and he tells Jihoon everything about Hyuntae.

“Did he ever hurt you?” It was the very first thing Jihoon asks once he’s done with his story.

“Never. He teased me and made me wait in the school parking lot until he picked me up to go home, but he never laid a hand on me.” He answers. “That’s why when he’s gone, mom’s attention is focused on me. I became her— doll of some sorts.”

“You aren’t a doll.” Jihoon mutters and Hyunsuk nods.

“I’m not, and you’re not a member of the mafia.” They chuckle at that.

There was a knock on the door and Jihoon opened the door. Hyunsuk almost loses his footing when he sees his dad just walking behind Jihoon. His dad smiles and opens his arms and Hyunsuk runs into his embrace. He tried not to cry but it was just impossible.

They settled in the living room and his dad spoke first. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” He answers. He’s not exactly feeling the best but things are better than his expectations. “Are you angry at me?”

“Sweetheart, I could never be angry at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” His dad says quickly, looking at him and then Jihoon. “Well, except for not introducing him to us. Jihoon, right?”

“Uh. Yes, sir.” Jihoon sounds nervous and Hyunsuk’s dad laughs at this.

“We’ll talk another time, young man.” His dad says. “I’m here to take you home.”

Jihoon nods and waits for Hyunsuk to speak.

“Is she still mad?”

“I told her to think about what she did. I didn’t side with her but she needed me yesterday.” His dad explains and Hyunsuk understands. His dad must’ve wanted to go to him as well but his mother was obviously on a breakdown yesterday.

“Give her a chance, please?” His dad continues, “I know what she did was wrong, but we can’t take it back anymore. We just hope you could go home so that we could make it up to you.”

Hyunsuk nods. He hopes everything gets better once he’s home again.

*

He came home late, and his dad says his mom was already sleeping. His room still looks the same, but it was different at the same time. Jihoon texts him and says he misses him already and Hyunsuk replies that he misses him too. They made a promise to have lunch together tomorrow, and Jihoon says he’s going to bring Junkyu who wants to beg for his forgiveness. Hyunsuk snorts and tells Jihoon that Junkyu must be on his knees when he sees him, or maybe he’ll just let Mashiho punch him.

They talked until it was almost midnight and Hyunsuk needed to sleep already. He sends a good night and plugs his phone to charge for the night. He just closed his eyes when he felt his door opening. He already knows it was his mother.

His mother sits at the edge of his bed and Hyunsuk opens his eyes to see her. Her mother was surprised to find him still awake.

“Did I wake you up?” She asks gently, far from the last time that he heard her voice.

“No, I was still awake when you came in.” He says as he leans to the bed frame so their eyes would meet.

“Mom?”

“I’m so sorry, baby.” She starts, reaching out for a hug. “I didn’t mean every word I said that day. I’m so sorry.”

Hyunsuk hugs her back. “It’s fine. I knew you won’t be happy about it.”

His mother shakes her head. “It wasn’t an excuse to be so harsh to you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I should’ve listened to you first. I should’ve told you I will protect you but instead I—“

“It’s okay, mom.” He says again.

Because he was hurt, yes, but people react differently when confronted by something they’re afraid of. He understands her at some point. She felt like he was losing another son again.

“Is he good to you?”

Hyunsuk takes a second to realize that she’s talking about Jihoon.

“The best.” He answers.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

*

It turns out that rumors would only really die down when another one takes over it. So it takes about two weeks before people stopped talking about them, and it took a student from class D to be caught selling illegal substances for everything to blow over.

It’s funny because everybody was still afraid of Jihoon, and they still think he runs a mafia on the side. Hyunsuk answers in vague replies because it’s actually entertaining. Jihoon says he’s cruel for that.

Their friends seem to get along well too. That’s after Junkyu’s dramatic cries while asking for Hyunsuk’s forgiveness and Mashiho offering to beat him up. They have lunch whenever they can, and he thinks he has found his crowd.

“You can’t dance.” Hyunsuk mutters as Jihoon steps on his shoes again. It hurts because Jihoon’s a lot bigger than him. It was the senior ball and he calls it a success because Yoshi was just on the verge of a breakdown but everything worked out pretty well.

Someone’s going to spike the punch, he just knows it.

“Well, if I could dance, I’d be too perfect, don’t you think?” Jihoon says, stepping into Hyunsuk’s foot for the fifth time ever since they started dancing.

“Oh God, let’s stop doing this after the song ends. I don't want to end up in the hospital.”

They circled and attempted to dance for a few more seconds before finally giving up, and sitting on the round table they got when they came in. Jaehyuk skipped the ball because Asahi was visiting Korea this time, and Junkyu’s somewhere with Mashiho because apparently, he finds Mashiho’s threats about ending his life cute and adorable.

“You think we could get out of here earlier?” Jihoon asks, not really a fan of the ball. He’s just there because Hyunsuk asked him to be his date.

“No. There’s an activity later tonight and I’ll help in facilitating it. Yoshi would have my head if I disappear all of a sudden.”

Jihoon snorts but settles to hold Hyunsuk’s hands instead.

“Can I ask a question?”

“Shoot.” Hyunsuk says.

“Did you believe any of those stories about me?”

“Honestly, I didn’t care about it.” He answers, “But I was more worried that you’d be lazy and unhelpful and I had to do the project alone.”

“Fair.” Jihoon says. “I did skip school a lot so I would not take that against you.” 

Hyunsuk chuckles and draws random patterns at the back of Jihoon’s hand.

“Another question.”

Hyunsuk hums as a response.

“I was your first, right?”

“Wha— why—“ Hyunsuk tries to find the words to say.

“You bit my lips a lot.” Jihoon says, voice amused. “You also—“

“Oh my God. Shut up!”

Jihoon laughs and Hyunsuk glares at him

“I love you.”

Oh.

“I love you too.” Hyunsuk answers.

“If you love me you’ll ditch this ball with me. I know a good place who serves the best ramen, and I’ll let you kiss me all night.”

“Sold.”

It’s good ramen, and better kisses. He’s not going to say no to that.


	2. Holiday Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble because it’s the holidays, and it’s time to sin.

Hyunsuk takes a deep breath as he walks outside of the bedroom and onto the kitchen for the third time in ten minutes. The cookies are baked and packed, and he has about an hour before Jihoon’s shift would end, and about an hour after that before his parents would call to wish them happy holidays. It’s not like he’s nervous, well, he is, but it’s not like this is the first time he’s doing this.

In retrospect, it is, but it’s too many technicalities he would rather not think about now, especially not now when he’s freshly showered, and he smells like flowers. Coincidentally, Jihoon’s favorite scent, and he’s slightly scared, but there’s also a bubble of excitement that’s brewing inside him because yeah, Jihoon’s going to experience a different type of holiday cheer tonight.

He stares at the fruit slices he prepared, and he wonders if he could just skip it, and get on to the good part. He takes a deep breath and decided to go along with it because he would need all the courage he could get. It’s not like he could ask anyone. God, he wouldn’t ask anyone. Hyunsuk knows his friends would probably answer him, but he won’t risk it, so google was his best friend.

There is a text from Jihoon saying they’re released thirty minutes earlier, and Hyunsuk’s heartbeat picks up.

“Oh heavens, I have time.” He whispers as he takes the fruit slices, along with the peanut butter with him back to their bedroom.

*

Jihoon doesn’t suspect anything. He comes to their shared apartment and notices that it’s quiet, but he chunks it off with Hyunsuk tired from schoolwork and sleeping in their room. Both of them are in their final year so they have less time together, but breaks like this really help them. Jihoon sees Hyunsuk almost every day, but he still misses him.

“Baby?” He calls as he takes off his jacket and checks the kitchen first because Hyunsuk told him that he was baking cookies they could give to their families when they go to their hometown tomorrow.

He sees the baked goods and concludes that Hyunsuk must be in their bedroom. He opens the door and the lights were off. Well, except for that purple mood light that Hyunsuk bought a year ago that he really really likes. Jihoon’s eyes needed to adjust before he could actually spot his boyfriend sitting and smiling on the bed, wearing his shirt. Now, Jihoon’s not a genius but it doesn’t take one to know that Hyunsuk isn’t wearing any pants.

Oh.

“Baby?” He says again, voice a little lower this time. Hyunsuk stands and walks towards him, tiptoeing a little bit so he could give Jihoon a peck on the lips.

“Hi,” He says to Jihoon, and it was cute and he sounded shy which is a clear contrast with what he’s wearing and the blindfold in his left hand.

Jihoon automatically smiles because he kind of knows where this is going, and he’s not in any way opposed to it. “You look cute today.” He says, making an attempt to wrap his waist around Hyunsuk, only to be pushed by the said man and humming in the process.

Jihoon doesn’t protest (yet), and he lets himself be guided to a chair, conveniently located on the right side of the room, beside a small table where a tray of fruit slices are in. He gives Hyunsuk a questioning look, but the other just glares at him and tells him to sit. Jihoon stops himself from smiling because Hyunsuk looks quite nervous, but he wants to see what’s in store for him. It’s not everyday he gets to see this kind of Hyunsuk. 

“You prepared this for me?” He questions and Hyunsuk nods.

“Yeah.” He says, and he tells Jihoon to close his eyes. “You have to play along.” He says too, and Jihoon chuckles because yeah, he will play along with it, and he will enjoy it.

He feels the cold fabric, satin, if he’s being more specific, cover his eyes and Hyunsuk tying it securely. It doesn’t take long before he feels Hyunsuk straddling him, perfectly positioned on top of his leg and clothed dick, and it’s not a lie when Jihoon says, there’s already a familiar sensation in his gut right now.

“Open your mouth,” Hyunsuk commands, and Jihoon, really really, liked how he sounded. He doesn’t say anything and does what he’s told to.

Hyunsuk feeds him with one of the fruit slices dipped in peanut butter, and he tastes the apples. He eats it quickly, and Hyunsuk cups his jaw. Jihoon feels a peck, and his hands automatically slot themselves on Hyunsuk’s waist, gripping it ever so slightly.

“Hands on your back,” Hyunsuk says again, and Jihoon grunts because why would he do that when it’s perfectly clasped in one of his favorite parts of Hyunsuk’s body. There’s a whine stuck in his throat because Hyunsuk kisses him again. This time wetting his lips, and licking them for good measure. “No touching or you won’t get to see the end to this.”

It’s a threat, and Hyunsuk’s voice is shaking but Jihoon wants to know where this would go so he listens. 

Jihoon slowly removes his hand and places it on his back. His jaw tightens because he’s not used to being ordered, especially in bed, but he wants to know what Hyunsuk has prepared.

“Good boy,” Hyunsuk whispers as he feeds another fruit slice to Jihoon, a banana this time. The routine continues, and Hyunsuk kisses him after every slice. Jihoon is getting crazier because Hyunsuk likes to bite, and Jihoon realizes that he’s very much okay with being bitten. He feels his mind go hazy because Hyunsuk doesn’t have ang patterns at all. He would be feeding him, and then kissing him next, only to kiss him again and again, and then he stops because he gives him fruit slices when he leasts expects it.

It was frustrating, and he’s getting really impatient. 

He hears some shuffling and it’s probably Hyunsuk making sure they won’t accidentally topple the tray over, but it’s really getting harder for Jihoon because every move equals to Hyunsuk moving on top of him too.

He was hard. He could feel himself twitch with every touch, and he just wants to wreck and destroy, and make Hyunsuk cry in pleasure.

“Baby,” He whispers because he needs Hyunsuk to do something about it or he would.

“Keep your hands on your back.” Hyunsuk orders again, and this time, Jihoon moans. Deep and guttural, because Hyunsuk starts moving in a circular motion, and he feels his arousal kicking up a notch, and they’re not even naked yet.

Jihoon is still isn’t sure if he likes the feeling because damn, it’s torture, but there’s something exhilirating with how Hyunsuk is taking charge, and leading him. It’s a nice change, and he’s so turned on.

He’s not the only one too, because Hyunsuk grinds his hips down and lets out a moan that goes straight to Jihoon’s dick, and his hands automatically unclasps on his back to grip on Hyunsuk’s hips who has started bouncing too. He wants to take his blindfold off but, he doesn’t. He tightens his hold instead and lets Hyunsuk rub his asss and bounce on his lap, making pleased noises and deep moans every time the crack touches on Jihoon’s clothed dick.

It was noisy and filthy and Jihoon’s horny, so his hands moved to Hyunsuk’s jaw to capture him in a liplock. Hyunsuk whines.

“No, no, no hands.”

Jihoon hears him but he doesn’t obey this time, not when Hyunsuk sounds like he’s begging. He knows how Hyunsuk sounds when he’s pleading, and it’s exactly like this. He kisses him instead, coaxing his boyfriend to open his mouth so he could use his tongue. He succeeds and Hyunsuk continues to grind and bounce, and Jihoon is so close, and he doesn’t care if they look like frantic teenagers, dry humping like no tomorrow, because it feels good and he wants to cum.

He could feel his climax building, and the fire intensifies as Hyunsuk rubs and whines, and Jihoon is almost there. But Hyunsuk, oh Hyunsuk, pulls away abruptly, and holds Jihoon’s hands to position it on his back again.

Jihoon’s mouth is open, trail of slobber visible, and Hyunsuk kisses him one more time before teasingly grinding down. His boyfriend nibbles his lips like it was food, but Jihoon just wants to grab Hyunsuk’s waist and tell him to start bouncing and grinding on his dick because he was so damn close.

“Baby.” He whispers because Hyunsuk is still holding his hands. “Please.”

He begs.

God.

Jihoon begs.

“What does my baby want?” Hyunsuk says in between biting and kissing, and Jihoon wants to tell him that he wants them naked and fucking, but he decides to play along.

A minute. He gives himself a minute before he lets go.

“You. I want to fuck you.” Jihoon whispers, kissing his boyfriend’s shoulder.

He feels Hyunsuk shiver, and he takes it as a sign to use a little of his force to remove his hands from Hyunsuk’s grip. He hears his boyfriend gasp as Jihoon removes the blindfold and drops it to the ground. His fingers find Hyunsuk’s chin and tilt it lower so they’re looking at each other.

Jihoon could still feel the frustration of not being able to finish, and Hyunsuk looking so sinful without any trace of guilt, as if he had not edged him just a few seconds ago, is fueling the fire still burning in his gut.

“You liked that?” Jihoon says as he kisses him, a loud smooch can be heard. “You like bouncing on my lap?” He asks again and he kisses Hyunsuk properly this time.

Hyunsuk bites his lips and nods, and he has the audacity to look shy when he’s still sitting on top of Jihoon’s hard on, and he even presses Jihoon’s upper lip with his fingers. They both know a bruise would form there.

“You want more?” Jihoon whispers, and he kisses him again, but this time— deeper and Hyunsuk reciprocates, moaning when he feels Jihoon’s hands scrape down every skin he could touch. His breath hitches when aligns their bodies a little closer, sliding his arms around his waist.

Hyunsuk shakes, and Jihoon still kisses him, but it was Jihoon who grunts when he grinds again, and he could feel the hard dick against his clothed one too.

Jihoon doesn’t waste anymore seconds because he stands up and Hyunsuk gasps as he wraps his hand on his boyfriend’s neck. He feels his back touch the bed, and Jihoon is splayed on top of him. He spreads himself, thighs apart and knees bend, and Jihoon feels like he’s about to explode.

No words were exchanged because Hyunsuk has his eyes closed when Jihoon removes his boxers. Hyunsuk is wearing his clothes but he doesn’t care about the technicalities when he has a naked man in front of him.

He slots himself in between, and his hands find Hyunsuk’s ass, pressing it. He’s rewarded with a low whine. “You’re so beautiful, and only for me.” Jihoon coaxes, voice lower than usual. Hyunsuk opens his eyes, and Jihoon takes his lips again.

They part, and both of their eyes are glazed, lips puffy and wet, and Jihoon is ready to risk it all. He waits for Hyunsuk to open his eyes again, and they’re both horny, but he needs confirmation.

“I’m going to do you tonight. Hard.” Jihoon kisses Hyunsuk’s cheek, and it’s supposed to be all libido and heavy touches, but Hyunsuk looks at him softly, and it does shit to his heart too. It’s so out of place but Jihoon smiles and places a butterfly kiss on Hyunsuk’s nose.

“Okay.” Hyunsuk cups his jaw, and he gives Jihoon a soft peck on the lips too. “This is not what I planned, but I’m honestly too tired to pretend I’m all grouchy and angry, and all commanding.”

Jihoon laughs, and shit, he’s so in love with Hyunsuk.

He’s so in love, and they’ve come a long way, and in the span of four years, what they have just grew and Jihoon can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him, but he tries to not think about proposing right now, when Hyunsuk is just wearing his shirt, and nothing else.

Now, Jihoon compromises too, and so he asks Hyunsuk what he wants to do, and the other whispers that he wants to get fucked in front of the vanity mirror. It’s an easy decision after that. Jihoon, quite literally, hauls him to their walk-in closet and lets Hyunsuk face the mirto, Jihoon holding his waist as he pounds into him over and over again.

Hyunsuk screams and whines, and tells him to go deeper, and Jihoon grants all his commands.

*

Jihoon wakes up with Hyunsuk on top of him, still peacefully sleeping, and already dressed in pajamas. The pajamas consist of Jihoon’s shirt and boxers. (Not the one Hyunsuk wore yesterday because those were wrecked, to put it nicely.)

He sees a notification from his phone, and it was from Jaehyuk who sent his own greetings on their group chat.

😜 u candy cane cum guzzler 👅🎄DICKCEMBER🎄is here and u know what that means ❄ HOE HOE HOE season has arrived 🎅 put on your rudolph panties 🔴 pop ur peppermint pussy 🍬 and sit by the fireplace with some hot COCKLATE 🍆☕if u want to get RAWED 👉👌 under the mistletoe 🌿 this christmAss 🎁 send this to 15 of your sluttiest elves 👩👨 if u get 0 back 😔 ur an UGLY GRINCH👀 if u get 5 back 😌 🔥🙌 SHARE in 69 😉💦 seconds or you won’t be gettin dicked down 😱 in 2❕0❕2❕0

He snorts and places the phone down. He pulls his boyfriend closer, and kisses the top of his forehead. They had quite a long night.

It's a happy holiday, alright.

  
  


  
  


  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author falls to the void.

**Author's Note:**

> Hai. This is unedited so forgive the typos and grammar lapses. I really need sleep but I wrote this instead. Please leave comments about how you feel about this fanfic. I sincerely love reading them. 🥺 You can scream at me in twitter too: kenainot. 🥺


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